drown the red;

2011-06-28T01:43:00.007+08:00

I never really had a lot of friends, just a few who I shared my inner most feelings to. I won't deny that I categorized them, but mostly to groups which I can break down and not be judged and those who I only let in on the surface. All of us have this walls that we put up around us as a protection. It would really take a lot of guts to pour out to someone about something that is so personal to you. Either that, or you are just very trust able of others.

I promised not to dwell on this anymore, not to reminisce those times that we shared, laughters', tears and even fights that we had together. But even so, you chose to back away. To just conveniently disappear. I still do regard you as a friend, but no matter how forgiving and understanding a person can be, my tolerance is quite low. I am sorry that I think so lowly of you now. I am sorry that I don't have that much faith on you now. But mostly, I am sorry for giving up on you now. All I am asking for is to please not just stroll in back and act as if nothing has happened and all is normal between us.

This sucks but I can't feel for this anymore. Maybe I'll mature along the way and learn that it is ohkay. It is ohkay to just conveniently forget.But for now, I don't think it's ohkay.

Not one bit

2010-11-17T20:25:00.003+08:00

Have you ever fought for something/someone before,

hard enough to accept that you did all you could?

Did you fought hard enough?

Was it worth it?

I guess I was not.

2010-10-16T00:59:00.001+08:00

a few of those who knows me best,

in and out.
<3

2010-09-05T00:55:00.002+08:00

It's difficult to ever go back to the same places or people.

You turn away, even for a moment,

and when you turn back around,

everythings changed.

2010-08-10T01:01:00.001+08:00

If you want to be happier,

just start expecting the lowest of the people you thought the highest of.

2010-06-09T23:39:00.001+08:00

on hiatus.

2010-05-21T00:37:00.003+08:00

when everything is overrated.

sometimes, I let anxiety consume me.

anticipating bitter cold,

when I could still bask in the warmth.

sometimes, I am confused,

why the need to please others

&the need to please ourselves.

sometimes, I wonder,

what is real & what's not.

whether beneath those cheshire smiles,

lies a sinister heart.

sometimes,

it's best I keep my hands to myself.

yet,

I still question my own significance.

2010-05-15T20:54:00.000+08:00

2010-04-29T22:59:00.001+08:00

i wonder what's it like to fly.

2010-04-10T22:03:00.002+08:00

I am going to miss you girls truckloads.

those trainings, morning runs, bathing routines, singing sessions, lunch 'how-ing' and many, many more.

I miss hockey already.

You girls gave me hope and we showed each of our own resilience and perseverance.

I swear I have never wanted anything so bad to cry for.

We trained our asses off, and we came this far.

Though we only clinched 3rd in the 'A' divisions, let’s all aim further in the things we do as well.

I value each and every one of my team mates.

We ended off this season with a bang!

MI Girls Hockey Team 2010

A Divs, 3rd Place.

you da, you da best!

2010-03-14T23:46:00.004+08:00

march holidays, a breather.

NOT.

art, hockey etc.

i'm excited yet anxious that we got through

the desire to want it,

to win.

but i'm gonna give my best,

cause all of us will.

for the medal. :)

common test was disastrous,

i should have just killed myself by shooting myself at the toes.

maybe not.

time is passing by too fast

and now is best to make full use of it.

i can't help but wanting to indulge in a few things.

maybe i should make a list,

like picnics where i can just take a nap under the sun

or maybe just stuffing myself with more food.

(that is a must, no one will ever try to stop me)

so get ready people,

i am going to call and date you out whenever during this period.

BUT,

i've mapped it all out,

it's clear and concise to me now.

now is just left to follow and achieve it,

i need that motivation and strength please.

&thank you for that.

2010-03-06T21:04:00.000+08:00

tell me again,

why am I still here ?

2010-02-23T20:26:00.005+08:00

' If you are going to fall in love with me, it's only fair that you know what you are falling in love with.

You are falling in love with my insecurities, and my obsession with trying to figure out what everyone thinks of me.

You are falling in love with my immaturity,

my constant need to feel loved and appreciated,

my overactive tear ducts,

my internet obsession,

my tendency to be clingy.

You are falling in love with my troubled past,

my hopes &dreams,

and how i'm a hopeless romantic at heart.

If you fall in love with me,

you fall in love with my self-hate, all my imprefections

and my perception that nobody could ever love me.

But you are also falling in love with the way my eyes will smile when i'm with you,

the warmth of my body against yours,

the way i'll text you just to know how you are doing,

and hoping that you will have a great day ahead.

You are falling in love with the occasional humorous/silly things that i say or do,

and how proud i am to say who you are to me.

But to me,

the most important thing will be that,

you are falling in love me,

despite my thinking that it is impossible.

As it is too good to be true. '

2010-02-14T00:08:00.000+08:00

2010-02-12T23:03:00.002+08:00

Flatter me, and I may not believe you.

Criticize me, and I may not like you.

Ignore me, and I may not forgive you.

Encourage me, and I will not forget you.

Love me and I may be forced to love you.

2010-02-12T13:18:00.004+08:00

2010-02-10T23:31:00.004+08:00

if my blog were any more stagnant,

it'll breed mosquitoes.

LAME!

i've been frustrated with myself recently.

i can't seem to get everything right.

right from A to Z.

if not's due to exhaustion,

it's laziness.

maybe my brain is becoming stagnant too.

i could really use somebody now.

2010-01-27T22:54:00.002+08:00

I only want YOU,

to say that I am pretty.

that's what matters most.

2010-01-05T02:14:00.003+08:00

Love never dies a natural death.

It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source.

It dies of blindness, errors and betrayals.

It dies of illness and wounds.

It dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.

i believe, most of us are guilty of killing it.

2010-01-01T23:40:00.003+08:00

hello 2o1o,

2oo9 has been great and manageable

but I am expecting more from you. :)

this year would be the first time for everything.

2009-12-30T02:38:00.010+08:00

i miss

2009-12-27T02:02:00.000+08:00

it can't be helped.

2009-12-25T09:33:00.001+08:00

i can't do this.

2009-12-25T01:24:00.003+08:00

hello, the uncouth hizwani would like to say some words:

you are such a fucking liar
i can't believe i believed a f liar.
you are a great at keeping things.
nice one.

i am not going to be your stupid doll anymore.
i was not as important to you as you were to me.
live your own life the way you want it now.
go.suck.balls.

i am ranting, grr.
there's so much that i want to say.

merry xmas all,
have a bloody year.

2009-12-20T23:18:00.002+08:00

mangled dove, cupped by dainty hands

with a grip of fidelity.

caresses that scraped,

white tainted with red.

its head, smoothened with dews

swirling pink

entertwined with those chapped hands.

the need to tug it safely

but its weakness drove it away.

i don't want that.

2009-12-19T00:06:00.002+08:00

green clouds

purple iris

blue bitterness

fiery passion

ageing immortality

black dagger

golden smile

hand clasp tightly

brave heart

when our world collides.

2009-12-15T16:29:00.002+08:00

love changed me into someone that I don't recognize.

2009-12-08T23:49:00.002+08:00

for guys who don't understand how girls can talk on the phone or in a cafe for hours,

well, it's because

for girls, that's their way of showing true love or friendship.

2009-12-08T00:35:00.005+08:00

you are going

but you'll be back.

&i'll be here waiting, still.

take care of yourself.

i can't help but want to post this;

A Song for You and Me

so goodbye, farewell

I will be leaving you now

It won't be long

all I want is for you to be strong

while we're singing this song

you sing the verse and I scream the chorus

you know they can't take what's ours

goodbye my love

I'll see you again

it won't be soon before long

we'll be where we are

singing this same very song

you don't have to be scared

this is not forever

just hold on to that bridge

I'll come back to sing it with you

I love with all that I am

you make me perfect

you make my life worth it

and while I'm gone

everything will be alright

by Faizal Hamid

I will hold you on to it.

2009-12-06T22:58:00.000+08:00

i know this is long overdue,

but Japan was GREAT!

beautiful country with great companies.

AWESOME!

here are some sneak peeks.

i would stay if i could.

2009-11-24T02:15:00.000+08:00

2009-11-21T10:49:00.005+08:00

i need to let this out, i feel like a volacano on the edge of eruption.
cliche isn't it, but there's no better words to describe it.
you would probably told people what an insecure freak i am,

how narrow minded i am.
how i always want your attention.
how i always get mad of those small things that you do.
do you know why i am mad at those littlelest things that you think is insignificant?
guess, guess, guess.
oh, maybe cos i was hurt?
oh no, probably not, maybe i'm just being too dramatic cos i got nothing better to do in my life.
i just like to pick a fight, just beacause i like it.

i have been giving in alot of times
yes, u gave in when u said sorry.
i gave in by letting it all pass hoping that you would somehow know how i feel and understand.
you knew that i would feel that way, but you still did it.
its all minor stuffs yes,
pictures, actions, conversations.
i am not asking for much,
i just want you to appreaciate me cos sometimes love is not enough.
to know things without me telling.

i feel tired.
i really am.
im tired of feeling this way.

i'll never understand the bond and the reasons that you gave.
cos i'll never do that to you.
no matter what the situation is.
sometimes, i have this thinking that your stuck with me,
but you still wanna have fun.
your sense of fun is really annonying and hurtful.

i try to get it, but i don't get it.
now, i dont think i would even wanna try to get it.
you will come up with those platonic reasons.
friendship is a bond that you cherish,
what a way to cherish it.

i don't feel appreaciated by you.
every girl deserves to be appreciated and treated well,
i deserve that too.

i dunnoe what i want anymore.
i just need to get away and be alone.
cos i am hurt.
and i can only depend on myself.
i cant depend on you anymore.

you just don't understand.

2009-11-20T20:09:00.002+08:00

just like a broken record,

repeating the sad song over &over again.

while the audience stare with indifference.

sicken with grieve, yet can't do without,

over &over it constantly plays,

it's worth dwindling as the routine continues.

i feel miserable.

2009-11-11T01:00:00.000+08:00

Happy 19th Birthday, love.

2009-11-08T00:04:00.002+08:00

there are times when i hate you but i don't complain,

cause i've been afraid that you would have walked away.

2009-11-05T02:25:00.002+08:00

M.K: so, did you get promoted?

ME: yes, i did.

M.K: i guess its luck then.

ME: ..

i swear whatever i do,

it'll never be enough.

2009-11-01T00:44:00.002+08:00

HALLOWEEN.

but i'm sleeping at home, missing out the fun at the party.

loser much.

my room is in a need of cleaning.

can you please help me again?

or i won't get my allowance.

thnks dad.

i dread monday.

after 2nd november, i won't have to sit for anymore malay papers in my entire life.

hopefully.

can't say much about mathematics though.

next year is going to be a whole different year.

&my boyf said he wanted to buy me sausage egg mcmuffin for breakfast.

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEN?

haha.

sometimes, past are not meant to be raked,

it's better not to dwell on the "what if's".

2009-10-27T01:22:00.002+08:00

can't wait for the school term to end.

before that there's:

H1 malay

H1 maths

but my mind is not really into it now,

sheeeeeeeeeeeesh.

shove me, hard.

cause that's what i really need now.

there are times when we feel that we've reached towards the end for everything.

though the manifestation of your pessimism is brewing,

do not give up.

someone used to say to me,

"the duration does not matter as much as the journey,

cause sometimes,

our journey is much more longer than the others"

&i believed so.

the sense of achievement differs for everyone,

but with effort and determination,

it'll be a rewarding one.

i couldn't answer why,

past,

sunsets,

busrides,

longing,

present,

jealousy,

unfairness,

joy,

laughter,

future.

which leaves a trail of confusion in my stride

still, i couldnt answer why.

i love you &that's all i really know,

for that's my advocacy.

2009-10-14T01:45:00.004+08:00

edited

no matter how long and well i have prepared for the day to come,
i'm still not ready for it.
i'm not ready for you to go.
things will come out good in the end, or even better.
but still,
i want you to stay by my side.
where i need you to be.

i can't be selfish.

2009-10-11T21:23:00.005+08:00

i can't stand the condensed lessons.
save me.
all i can think of now is
mathpwmalaypromos.

but raya outing with the girls was
awesoooooooooooome.
:)

&i initially thought women were more complicated than men.

2009-10-05T01:05:00.003+08:00

sometimes you just need to have a back up plan in life,
cause things don't go the way you want everytime.

let's just focus on what we have now.

2009-09-30T01:35:00.002+08:00

it's time to let our hair down!

for a day that is.

there's still promotional exercise to worry about,

and not to mention the H1's.

school is turning me into a worrywart.

making me think too much,

like he said,

"it kills the brain cells"

no wonder i'm getting dumber everyday.

-______-

2009-09-25T02:44:00.003+08:00

♥

The 21st.

&i'll take you as you are,

♥

2009-09-23T01:28:00.008+08:00

one more paper down,

two more to go.

SELAMAT HARI RAYA TO ALL.

maaf zahir &batin.

forgive those who have sinned against you,

as they have forgiven your sins towards them.

for i have sinned.

i am currently loving my life,

thankful to what has been bestowed upon me,

and the people that i have around me.

so,

WHAT EVssssss!

i am glad to know that there are still some people who surpassed my case of paranoia.

in this very case,

unable to bury the hatchet.

ohkay,

SELAMAT HARI RAYA,

MAAF ZAHIR &BATIN.

they say that,

girls are more bent on staying with boys who do them bad.

&i'll start to question the very essence of love.

i am already content with what i have now.

2009-09-21T02:29:00.003+08:00

if asking amounts to tension,

then it's best to be avoided.

2009-09-16T23:31:00.002+08:00

Do you wanna be on top?

i screwwwwwwwwwed it.

no use dwelling on it,

moving on.

i need to get my hair done.

2009-09-14T23:38:00.005+08:00

3 papers down.

7 more to go.

my derriere seems to suffer more due to excessive sitting.

i can't wait for everything to end quickly,

yet i do not want the end results to reach that fast.

baaaaaaah.

i need to get my facts right about the Arab-Israeli war

but laziness just became the best of me.

in my opinion,

we should learn how to accept other people, and sit down and compromise

and not just push them away due to differences.

but somehow,

that's difficult in the real world.

why oh why.

at least the world would be a much more safer and peaceful place to live in.

oh, such naive thoughts.

the incident is still playing in my mind.

when the child screamed for help,

that's the worst.

no matter how delicate the issue is,

it has to be dealt with.

sooner or later.

i really hope everything's well.

love u all to the maxxxxxz.

when flying was easier;

&i need a workout,

like seriously.

bing.

2009-09-10T00:35:00.003+08:00

i'm suppose to be mugging for geez sake.

oh, save me.

urgh.

&raya is like next sunday?

this year flew so fast,

the last time i checked

promos are like a few months away.

REALITY CHECK.

i'm just to lazy to get up from my bed.

the fasting month should make you feel more productive,

i guess i'm born feeling unproductive without any effort involved.

whiny whacker.

some people are out there baking kuihs while here i am,

blogging.

-_______-

all of us have our own difficulties to handle;

it's how we make ado with it.

2009-09-08T04:29:00.004+08:00

edited.

iftar with the chikas today,
totally worth it.
pasta, cheesefries, onion rings & ice cream?
plus great company,
nice.
:)

this time,

i'm assured.

2009-09-06T15:09:00.004+08:00

there's not much time left.

scamper, everyone.

as always,

i'm not looking forward for the holidays.

there has to be more than that, right?

sometimes. you have to live with the fact that,

he's not entirely yours.

but i can't.

2009-08-29T22:39:00.000+08:00

2009-08-25T20:35:00.001+08:00

breathe for love tomorrow,

cause there's no hope for today.

2009-08-25T01:44:00.003+08:00

We have an addition of two members in the family now.

Say hello to KIKI &LALA!

they're suppose to be ragdolls.

hmm.

The 20th.

Nobody has ever measured love, not even poets,

how much a heart can hold.

Zelda Fitzgerald

2009-08-22T22:03:00.004+08:00

The fasting month has started,

and i spent the whole day by sleeping.

remember,

what goes around comes around twice as fast.

2009-08-20T00:31:00.003+08:00

this is the part my abilities are being questioned.

had another one of those career talks today,

again.

&i've learnt something from it.

making money is the top priority in one's life,

today.

those who take actions,

are the ones that deserve the best.

i guess i am still stuck at the second stage,

JUST SITTING DOWN AND LETTING OPPOPTUNITIES PASS RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY EYES

honestly,

i've yet to think that far.

it seems that i can't even skip or even hop over the smallest hurdle now,

what more in the future?

it really eats me out that i still got a miserable single digit mark

after burning the night away completing the assignments.

i hate getting,

SEE MEs.

but i guess they just love to see me.

whiny much, hizwani.

cca phototaking day

IMYAs.

&my stick too.

-___________-

when the night gets longer,

2009-08-11T00:34:00.004+08:00

baini's mini celebration/

picnic at sembawang park.

pot luck,

snappings,

saved a duck.

♥ ♥ ♥

here i am.

2009-08-10T00:40:00.006+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SINGAPORE!
yet again.

celebration in school was one of the best national day celebration i ever had.
no, we didnt have any concert,
no, we didnt have any talks.
but instead,we got to party!!
ohkay, it was kinda of an imprompto thingy,
with good music,
outgoing home tutors
&great, spontaneous friends.
Best national day ever.
:)

oh, retro was the theme.

♥

you left me feeling high and dry,

craving for more;

2009-07-27T23:19:00.003+08:00

i'm loving the weather now.

i think i got my drive back

finally i feet the need to put in more effort.

since there would be no cca temporarily,

i should use the extra time to study.

-__________-

&there was a bottle of peach tea on my table when i reached school today.

tell me,

is there a limit to love?

2009-07-25T23:59:00.000+08:00

Happy 19th Monthniversary!

you call it madness,

i call it love.

2009-07-24T23:05:00.003+08:00

maths maths maths maths

maths

maths maths

malay malay malay

maths maths maths maths maths

maths maths maths maths

malay malay

maths

math maths maths

malay malay malay

this is going to be my new life.

boooooooooooooooooooring.

thank you, so much.

2009-07-19T22:41:00.003+08:00

"the longer she lived with a romantic partner,

the more likely she was to keep putting on weight."

WASSUP WITH THAT??

on the contrary,

i've been losing weight.

though the amount of food intake was largely ridiculous.

i need to keep track of the books i have lent to,

some of it seem to have disappeared.

SADLY.

this week is D week.

(judgement week)

i'll be getting most of my papers this week,

starting with History.

let's not forget maths and malay,

which i am too ashamed to talk about.

urgggh.

i pray that the teachers would be lenient,

which i highly doubt so.

i'll be relieved if i managed to survive year two.

where am slowly disintegrating

dramatic much

but that's how it is, sadly.

perseverence is the key,

but sometimes it's just not enough.

sometimes maybe, it slipped your mind that my heart is not made of stone.

2009-07-15T23:49:00.002+08:00

dearest love,

HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY!

Nur Syazana Samion.

hope u liked it.

love you many, many.

2009-07-09T01:18:00.003+08:00

i can't believe i just took my GCE A level malay oral

&i freaking blanked out.

blanked freaking out.

let's just call me hiz er wa erm err ni.

urgh!

so depressing.

tomorrow's the last paper.

but somehow i feel its the start of an uphill struggle.

discipline seems to be one of the issue i just can't handle,

especially when it comes to not over spend

&to stay put and study.

i resent the past, i do.

the cheater.

the faker.

the dr jackell and mr hyde.

the sore loser.

but like he said, 'the past should stay dead'.

haha!

a woman demeans herself when she's insecure of another.

2009-07-06T00:27:00.002+08:00

get well soon, <3.

you own me cuddles.

i like rainy days,

cause they make me feel nice.

i don't like rainy days,

cause it obstructed me from my personal warmth.

2009-07-02T00:26:00.005+08:00

when everything seems futile.

much misses.

sidetracked;

“Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she’ll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit.”

; extracted from humaira takim.

sometimes,

time heals.

2009-06-27T01:57:00.004+08:00

he's the one that first introduced me to colours,

he's the one that feeds my monster stomach,

he's the one that holds my hand through the slides,

&he'll try anything to make things better,

he's the only one that still really cares.

2009-06-25T15:05:00.005+08:00

i don't like the swine flu.

you just made my life much more miserable than before.

on the brighter note,

i'm on the 18th cloud.

happy 18th monthniversary.

sarang hae yo <3

2009-06-22T02:34:00.004+08:00

BATAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM.

that brother of mine doesnt wanna stand with me.

now is the time when i hate,

really, really hate.

well, its my fault anyways,

for always putting it aside.

THUS

i need to stay awake till i'm done.

which is high likely i'll be not be able to sleep at all.

but i still love it though.
it's a love-hate thing between us.

uh-huh,

that's art for you.

me, i guess.

but it comes with these people,

i am emotionally-oriented.

2009-06-20T02:40:00.011+08:00

wee hours

boredom

stupidness

look at the hair!! hahaha.

imagine if there were 4 of me. haha!

loser much,

nyeeeeeeeeeeh.

2009-06-16T21:35:00.004+08:00

MEET THE GENIUS!

the background was suppose to be the T-REX.
i guess we kind of side tracked.

the exhibit was ohkay i guess,
it was kinda tiring walking all over the science center.
made me realize that i haven't been there for ages,
or have i not even been there at all?
the fact that i don't even remember anything or have a sense of nostalgia to it.
somehow contributes to the thought.

you don't have to be GREAT IN MATHEMATICS to be a genius.
just be creative &practical. :)

curator is one hardcore career,
but i still wanna, wanna be!
but we do rely too much on technology,
who doesn't?
mostly.
ohkay, there are those who doesn't.

time relapse.

2009-06-15T01:50:00.001+08:00

ohkay, on the side note,
i do need reassurance.
i suck.

&there's no more eggs in the frigde.

2009-06-15T00:20:00.004+08:00

too much is overboard,

too little is dangerous.

i don't ever want to be caught in the middle,

cause i don't ever want to lose what i have now,

ever.

i can't

i must,

i have to,

i didn't mean it,

i want to.

it's a battle of my inner self,

but i plan to overcome it.

i want to.

2009-06-10T01:38:00.001+08:00

it's like i'm in a race,

2009-06-08T03:37:00.002+08:00

sometimes love knocks you down;

2009-06-03T23:00:00.002+08:00

i want. :(

2009-06-02T01:00:00.009+08:00

i would rather have armageddon happen the natural way
rather than machines taking over the world.
lets blame the fear on the terminator salvation.
not bad, considering that i didnt follow up with the sarah conner series.
the last i remembered was the famous, "I'LL BE BACK".
so old news.

was too lazy to go back to school today
&due to other matters too.
sadly, there is still tomorrow.
&the next day after that.

sidetracking;

much ado about nothing was awesome lah!
considering the the field (?) is packed, like seriously.
lucky we opted to be kanchong on that day and arrived earlier to queue up.
resulting in good front seats, patch of grass rather.
there is still the issues of ants and other bugs though.
Adrian Pang was good lah, all of them were such great actors!

on my wedding,
there will be no kuda kepang.
no vroom vroom
but must have sushi(s).
and laksa.
and a great live band.
and pretty lights.
and and, i want to be a greek for the day. :)

it's not fair that we have to endure less because of the people who had the liberty to have more but didn't treasure it.
that's my complain of the day.
and last.
(i hope)

i am greedy, i know.

2009-05-26T22:43:00.004+08:00

FREAK-OUT BUTTON TURNED ON.

i'm feeling resentful towards the swine flu, baah.
now there is alot more reason to work doubly hard.
maybe triple effort, considering that our positions are being sought by others.
(i'm nowhere there)
'the june' will be peaking around the corner,
not before testing our language compentency. :(

i never thought that i could watch CSI online,
until today.
fortunately, there are still episodes that i didnt manage to catch whenever i'm not lazy to hibernate on my bed.
CSI, you're next on my list!

today was unproductive especially when it comes to MOB and self-study.
none of the peribahasa went inside my head, must be the cold.
oh, no. must be me.
somehow i found the drive back but i'm still lingering around the corner,
waiting for something major that would wake me up from my complacency land of laziness.

hard ground are being dwelled onto now,
any steps taken could just land you on the mine.
but to get to the other side, mine's have to be stepped.
consequences :
i. lucky enough to get enough with just a few scars.
ii. unlucky as hell as to get your limbs blown off.
one way or another, things have to get over and done with no matter the outcome.
cheesy, i know.
but it's scary if you are being thrown in your own personal land filled with mines.
with a tweak,
the mines are those you care for.

ohkay, CSI calling!
<3

Friendship is a plant of slow growth and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation.

- George Washington.

2009-05-25T12:15:00.000+08:00

Love seeketh not itself to pleasure,
Nor for itself hath any care,
But for another gives it ease,
And builds a Heaven in hell's despair.
-W.Blake

Happy 17th moniversary.

2009-05-20T22:07:00.005+08:00

"The greatest irony of love is loving the right person at the wrong time,

having the wrong person when the time is right

& finding out you love someone after that person walks out from your life.

Most relationships tend to fail not because of the absence of love (love is always present),

but because one was being loved too much & the other was being loved too little.

Most often we fall in love with a person only to discover that for them,

we are just a pasttime,

while the one who truly loves us remains either a friend or a stranger.

Here’s a piece of advice:

Let go when you’re hurting too much.

Give up when love isn’t enough & move on when things are not like how they were before.

There is someone out there who will love you even more and surely then,

you will know true love."

-Anonymous

2009-05-16T23:34:00.003+08:00

don't resist it,

just embrace it.

get well soon!

2009-05-03T23:56:00.002+08:00

you gave me the shivers,

making me crave for more.

my love for you is insatiable.

2009-04-30T00:30:00.006+08:00

hello! :)

i am an;

owl!

lol.

-_-

sarang hae yo, many many.

2009-04-15T23:00:00.002+08:00

i can't help it that i'm imperfect.
you got a problem with that?
suck it up.

&so another candle has been added.
the last of my teen years.
&life goes on, again.

i didn't grow any taller,
i didn't grow any richer,
i didn't grow any prettier,
i didn't grow any wiser.

but

i've become more speculative,
i've become more paronoid,
i've become more forward looking,
i've become more aware.

so practically is it's still the same,
with the baggage here and there.

kudos to you.

2009-04-01T23:59:00.002+08:00

i am tired,

of everything.

2009-03-25T00:55:00.002+08:00

to RINIHARTINI:
no feeling uh, babe. :(

anyways,

HAPPY 15th MONTHNIVERSARY!

scared shitless, generally.

2009-03-19T01:18:00.001+08:00

History has no sympathy for the defeated.

2009-03-01T20:31:00.002+08:00

so, it's just another week.
&another week will pass again.

my HI maths seem to be hopeless;
a saviour please.

procrastinating is now stuck to me.

parent-teacher meet can wait.

drawings unfinished.

sometimes friends seem much more important.

writing in sentences is much less brain wrecking.

bummer.

2009-02-11T20:16:00.005+08:00

Habit is the chloroform of love.

2009-02-03T23:14:00.003+08:00

more &more tests.
more &more work.
late &later timings.
less &lesser sleep.
more &more boring.

see how much "more" i have.
:(

the perfect drug.

2009-01-31T22:55:00.004+08:00

i'm freaking bored yaw!
i've been sleeping like a pig.
been missing out trainings. -_-"
assignments are pilling up like pigion droppings.
&i'm not doing anything about it.
I FEEL SO DAMN UNRPRODUCTIVE.
geee.
do you know what's the meaning of boredom?
the significance it holds?
ohkay, \/\/.
ohkay, i have date(s) tomorrow!
like finally.
to move my lazy ass.

sometimes, i just feel like crawling up into a hole
&be devoided from all emotions.
my only source of comfort now is just my bed. woooo.

i wanna go back to the ancient times and find out why are there 7 days in a week.
why are there only 2 weekends.
out of 365 days, why divide it into 7 days per week??
well yeah, why not make it 4 weekdays?
wait, friday is a weekend isin't it?
so what, i see it as a weekday.

see what i meant by unproductive?
you'll start to think of lame things that can't be change.

a piece of randomness.

wonder where he is now?
hmm.
oh, i forgot what was the group name we were in charge of. -_-"

2009-01-28T23:58:00.001+08:00

nyeheheh. :)

2009-01-24T21:49:00.008+08:00

i had problems connecting to blogs/journals yesterday.
even though i'm late by a day,
i still wanna wish
HALIMATUSSOLEHA
a very
HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY!
:)

23rd January 2oo9

my oh my, aren't we turning old?
hope u enjoyed your birthday,
see you on monday! <3

i fell in love,
again.
not with one, but two.

love number 1.

HTC Touch Pro

love number 2.

E71

may the best phone wins.
(p.s: it should be love number 2 than 3, respectively)
considering that number 1 isin't a THING.

my dad was surprised by the change of taste
he claimed that i should have accepted his offer for the BB last time.
gee, i don' think a secondary school kid would know how to use a blackberry back then.
only me, that is; the non-IT savvy person.

oh well.
it is under the category of 'I WANT' anyway.
it can wait.

i'm feeling extra cranky now.
i know it's unfair to blame the monthly reds,
but i'm putting the blame on them.
plus its not fun that people are putting me down
&my body feels like it has been mulled by a bulldozer.

my heart stopped beating at that moment.

2009-01-21T18:40:00.004+08:00

i was bored.
but somehow there are things waiting for me to be done.
bummer.

General behavior:
Aries (the ram) loves freedom, and will accept any challenge. Aries will get impatient if your ideas do not work out immediately and as expected. You are unwilling to follow someone else's suggestions, especially if they do not make sense to you. You often have excess energy which can make you aggressive. Arians are brave leaders who express care and concern for all they lead. However, an Arian as a follower is rare, and can be troublesome. Some Arians will act self-centered because they believe that their views are right, and anyone who conflicts with them is wrong. They enjoy any type of physical activity which gives them a perfect outlet for their natural aggression. Because you are open and honest, you will make energetic and generous friends but in their personal relationships Arians are frank, direct and candid.Very often they begin a project or a course of actions but all too often fail at the end, leaving things dangling. They get bored easily and get enthused about new and different things in a flash. They enter prematurely into situations which can prove regrettable. Attracted to pretty things, making them extravegant.

Romantic behavior:
Arians are extremely friendly and charming, and are very attracted to the opposite sex. Speaking of romance, you seem to follow Keats' definition of beauty, "A thing of beauty, is a joy forever." You get bored very soon in your affairs because you also prefer intelligent and versatile partners. You are advised to be careful in your relationships as you could get into trouble easily when you let your heart rule your head. The opposite sex finds you fascinating because of your beauty consciousness, lavish expenditure, dynamism and adventurous nature. They seek complements to themselves in their relationships and, because of innate insecurity they require individuals who will stimulate them into action and provide emotional security. They are liable to have a high sex drive and make passionate and fastidious lovers.

i'm a freaking true Arian.

my body is aching like it has never ached before.
cb.
i'm not sure if i can get through this year without any breakdowns.
my priorities seems to be shifted.
&i don't like it.

2009-01-07T23:24:00.001+08:00

HOCKEY GIRLS SENTOSA OUTING! :)
pictures galore.

there's moooooore to it actually.
this was 1/4 from petrina's camera.

2009-01-04T00:22:00.003+08:00

2009
embrace it people!
so its another year.
2008 has been kind to me, it has been wonderful even.
let's hope 2009 is going to be much more generous.

school's starting soon.
&i'm still in hibernation mode.
cheers.

2008-12-25T23:10:00.000+08:00

what can i say,
i'm happy.
yes, i am. :)

happy anniversary, honey.

2008-12-20T22:53:00.000+08:00

cheer up, love.

2008-12-12T22:44:00.001+08:00

no more ~~08A3~~

hello
08A2

:(

i'm gonna miss them.
MI is damn cruel, i tell you.

2008-12-06T22:00:00.002+08:00

i'm currently tuning to T.I's :

"you can have whatever you like"

but for now, it'll be :

"you can ~~have~~ DO whatever you like"

shopping time.

2008-12-02T15:11:00.004+08:00

lush greens
cool blues
solid amber
no yellows though

i wanna roll around the lush greens, just the greens
haha.
anyone care to join?

LETS MOVE MOUNTAINS!

the reason for this particular post was due to boredom.
one of the only few reasons to blog actually.
we're taking a break from training for 2 weeks,
to catch up on our studies.
haha!
quite difficult to start up the engine now
faizal's schooling, leaving me with all the time in the world.
&i finally found my pencil box, thank god.
in a few days, it'll be the double O nine.
gee, i swear i can bore the whole universe.

so my room is 1/4 clean.
i finally managed to apply my first aid skill on my lil brother
(cut on his lip due to his clumsiness, WOW!)
what an achievement
i've got nothing better to do
i wanna cut/trim my hair, jean yip will do
both of my grams went to collect their passports
wonder where they're going, bahamas maybe
do you think that the boyfriend would mind that i can't dance?
maybe i'll enrol to join ballet
but i'm too old for that, aren't i?
hip hop girls are hot
it's such a nice day but i got nothing to do
maybe i should call up masuri to arrange a date with gary hill
18 more days to dateline.
i miss shopping
i miss my girlfriends
i need a place for emotional release
my dad still haven't bought me an easel.
i wanna kill my boredom.
should i just cut my hair short?
wonder what its like to be bald.
are people born insecure or they are just insecure?
i think its the latter one, no?
both sounds the same to me
dang, i'm pathetic.
i used to love being alone
but now i feel weird going to places alone
i wish the library was just next door.
i want school to start early so i will be busy
but i don't like being busy
should i try the mega mcspicy?
akim says its nice.
maybe not, mcD's gives me the runs
i think i'm becoming weak
&that scares me.